Tag: Mental illness

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Bay Roberts Blogger by the Compass

Bay Roberts blogger says more needs to be done for mental health
Published on May 13, 2017
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The Tucker family has been through some tough times in recent years, and Harris (left) hopes his blog can help raise awareness for mental health. Pictured (from left) are Harris, Logan, Lauren and Lisa Harris.

©Submitted photo

BAY ROBERTS, NL – Mental health issues have put this father of two out of work, but he hopes to raise awareness by writing about his struggles in a blog.
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Harris Tucker now lives in Bay Roberts with his wife, Lisa, and their two children, Logan and Lauren. The family originally lived in St. John’s, where Harris ran his own hairstyling business and Lisa worked as a teacher.
Harris says he’s always struggled with his mental health, having had episodes of depression and anxiety from as young as 16-years-old. However, some time around 2010, Harris was diagnosed with severe anxiety and clinical depression, and says that the stresses of life became too much. He had to leave his career and business behind.
“The stress just kept building and building,” explained Harris. “When I was younger, in my teens and early adult years, I could handle it. I’d have an episode here and there where it got pretty bad, but it was never enough for me to quit my job or anything like that. But now, ever since being clinically diagnosed, I’m too ill to work. It’s no longer just an episode here and there – it’s every day.”
Harris’ daughter, Lauren, is four-years-old, and suffers from cerebral palsy, a disorder that effects muscle tone, movement and motor skills.
Since his own diagnosis, Harris has been writing in an online blog called ‘The Life & Times of the Tuckers’ on Harrislisa72.com, where he shares his own life stories and experiences. At first, the blog was about his own struggles in dealing with his mental health issues, but since Lauren’s diagnosis with cerebral palsy, the blog has expanded into Harris’ struggles as a mentally ill father with a physically disabled daughter.
Harris told The Compass that dealing with his anxiety and depression, as well as Lauren’s cerebral palsy, has taken a toll on the family as a whole. Lisa no longer teaches, as the Tuckers are constantly in and out of places like the Janeway Children’s Hospital, and handling both mental health as well as physical health issues as a family has proven to be a taxing process.
Harris receives around $1,000 a month from disability insurance, and Lisa receives employment insurance. Harris says that this level of income is not nearly enough to sustain a family of four, especially when it comes to the costs related to their health.
As a result, the Tuckers can only afford to put Lauren in daycare three days a week. During the rest of the week, Lauren requires at least one of her parents to be by her side at all times, ultimately adding to the list of reasons Harris or Lisa can’t maintain steady employment.
Harris said the family has relied on crowd funding services such as Gofundme to help cover costs of some things, such as a wheelchair accessible van for Lauren, but adds that the family refuses to live their lives relying on other people’s money.
“It’s not the responsibility of our neighbors, or friends, or people in the community to pay for the things we need,” explained Harris as he sat in the family room of the Janeway. “At the end of the day, we’re at a point in our life where he can’t work. I’m not mentally capable or working, and we’ve got so much to handle that Lisa is no longer teaching, either. But we need more money in order to survive, but the government just doesn’t seem to be willing to try and understand that.”
Harris went on to air his frustrations, mentioning previous conversations he’s had with government representatives who were unable to provide him with the help he needed.
“I finally got a call back from one lady the other day,” said Harris, “who told me that they could help me put Lauren in daycare for an extra two days a week. That sounded great. But, then she told me it was going to cost us somewhere around $800 a month. We can’t afford things like that, not with our current income, and then we’re right back to square one.”
Despite their situation, Harris hopes his blog posts can help raise awareness of the struggles people suffering with mental illness face on a daily basis. Harris is looking to help put an end to the stigma he says sufferers of mental illness have to battle.
“I’m not really a writer. I couldn’t write a book, even if people tell me I should,” said Harris. “But I have been through a lot, and I know there are other people out there struggling in the same way.

The stress just kept building and building.

Harris Tucker

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“We need to end the stigma surrounding mental health. People need help, and they deserve that help, rather than being given the bare minimum. If our blog can help raise awareness for that, then we’ve accomplished our goal.”

Weblink: https://harrislisa72.com/

editor@cbncompas.ca

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Stigma & Mental Illness

I have no idea where I come up with my blogs. You would think there were only a few issues to write about on the topic of mental illness. But they just keep flowing through my pencil; as fast as I can print on paper, the faster my brain tells me what to write. So hopefully I never get writer’s block.

I’ve eluded to stigma or stigmatized in several blogs but I think it deserves a post of its own. The stigma that surrounds mental illness is astounding and comes from all facets of life; even the person with a mental illness themselves.

Let’s begin by defining exactly what stigma is and its relation to mental health. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality or person”. For example; shame, disgrace, or humiliation. Stigma is a negative stereotype. Stigma is a reality for many people with a mental illness and “they report that how others judge them is one of their greatest barriers to a complete and satisfying life”.

The Canadian Mental Health Association stated that, “Mental illness can affect anybody, regardless of age, gender, culture, ethnicity or social class. But no matter who they are, people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness are all likely to experience stigma. Public attitudes and beliefs, often based on fear and misunderstanding, stereotype individuals with mental illness, exposing them to prejudice and discrimination. Stigma infects every issue surrounding mental illness, often with worse consequences than the illness itself. The World Health Organization declared stigma to be the single most important barrier to overcome in the community.”

Having said all of that, it’s time to get a little more personal and to express my own thoughts and experiences about stigma. Education and speaking out are two of the most important elements in breaking down the walls of stigma. For me personally I have well self-educated myself on the topic of stigma and my own mental illness. And I have most definitely spoken out and talked openly and publicly about my illness. I was guilty of stigmatizing myself because I had a mental illness. I was ashamed, afraid to go out in public or be around other people for fear of being looked down upon, belittled or looked upon as being different. But what I have come to realize is that we are all different, all unique and all have a mental illness (in one way or another); none of us are perfect. I now love sharing my story and talking about my mental illness, it as opened up an whole new world for me. Not an easy one but life is not always easy.

The Health Care System in this province is partially to blame for the stigma that surround this illness. From my own personal experience, the moment you walk in through the hospital doors, you feel different, you are treated different; you are stigmatized. The physiatric unit is usually isolated and in the basement or if not, the windows are locked shut with iron bars. And all units are locked down. A patient or a criminal? And here I was suffering from anxiety; what better way to push your anxiety through the roof. Our mental health system needs to be totally revamped. Is that going to happen anytime soon? I doubt it. The answer for now is to keep speaking out and let others be aware and become educated.

The media as played a role in the way mental illness is stigmatized. Often portraying someone with mental illness as being different or sometimes even dangerous. But I have also found that the media, especially today, are trying to break down the walls of stigma. For example, the Bell Aliant campaign; Lets Talk, has really educated and helped the general public to see mental illness in a new light. And this is what we need; more people talking openly about this issue.

Lastly, the Government of NL need to be held accountable. One very important way that the government itself can break down the walls of stigma is to totally demolish the Waterford Hospital. It screams; STIGIMA! And the building itself is falling down and delapitated. The halls have a ghostly aura about them. I remember when I was very ill and at the end of my resources, that I packed my bag, with the intention of being admitted; I didn’t know where else to turn. But sadly I was turned away because they said, “the Waterford was no place for me”. It would only make my anxiety worse. Now that speaks volumes to me. So I was sent home with a pill under my tongue. For me to want to be admitted, to such a place, meant I was desperate. But I left feeling there was no hope. What we need is a new hospital; a hospital that gives us hope. Without hope we will never heal.

We need a hospital with an environment that says, welcome, you are safe here,we are going to give you the help and support that you need and deserve. And not every illness cramped into a single room or wing. Someone dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. placed on wings of the hospital that are less anxiety provoking; where patients are dealing with the same or similar issues. And other severe illnesses placed in a safe environment for them, based on the severity of their illness, not on wherever a bed is available. It doesn’t make sense herding all illnesses/disorders onto the same ward. You wouldn’t put a cardiac patient on a maternity ward, so why would you put someone with depression on a psychosis ward. Your diagnosis should determine where you are placed in the hospital. Also, if a school was as stigmatized and delapitated as the Waterford; would we send our children there? No, we would fight for a new school. Why then are we willing to send our loved ones to such a disgraceful building?

The name of the hospital itself needs to be changed: “The Waterford Hospital” shouts stigma and raises red flags right away. The first thought that comes to my mind is; “the looney bin”, that’s just how stigmatized the building is. So sometimes to break down the walls of stigma, we have to literally tear down the walls!

So, let’s get talking and break down the walls of stigma. I am not ashamed of my illness, no more then if I had any other form of illness. I am a real person, with a real illness and I wish to be treated no different. I will face life with my head held high and no one as the right to stigmatize or discriminate against me because I have a mental illness. Maybe tomorrow it could be you, never judge a book by it’s cover! Respect everyone!

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Does Mental Illness Change Who You Are?

Am I the same person I was before I became severely ill? No and neither are you. None of us are; we are forever evolving. There are times when I look back and wish I were that person again but that’s not going to happen. And that is probably for the best. Maybe my experience through my illness as made me an even better person; more understanding, compassionate and more aware of myself and others around me.

But the part of me that wants that old person back (the  person before my illness) is the part of me that didn’t have to fight to be happy, I didn’t have to put on a front or a forced smile, it just happened. Although I am at a better stage in my illness, I still struggle everyday to be “well”. And also that little voice in my subconscious that reminds me every day that my life can change in a second. My greatest fear; a relapse! But I can’t live in fear that that’s going to happen. I have to be aware of my illness everyday and be conscious  of my mental well being and never let my guard down. If that’s what’s required to keep me mentally healthy then that’s what I’ll do.

I am now at a crucial stage of my recovery; sometimes I think it’s a more dangerous stage then my acute stage. It’s a time when you have a tendency to let your guard down and with this illness; everyday is a work in progress. You have to constantly keep your mind in the moment and never forget where you came from.  Things can change; your circumstances, your everyday routines, life struggles, positive and negative stresses. Any of these things can trigger a setback. And that can put your mind in a spin and panic can set in rather quickly. But remind yourself that nobody as a perfect day, life comes with it’s ups and downs, good and bad…. a roller coaster ride. But because we    have a bad day doesn’t mean we have to head back to the psychic  ward. This too shall pass!

There is one thing I’ve learned  and that is people are watching. Now that can add extra stress to your day but it’s best to concentrate on your own well being and not get caught up in what others think or say. It’s only you that knows what’s going on, on the inside. Too bad we can’t wear our illness on our foreheads, that way people would not have to surmise how you are feeling. As with  other illnesses, you can visually see how that person is doing but dangerously with mental  illness; you cannot see, everything may look fine on the outside.

Yes, I have changed, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the same person but in a different way. The illness itself as taken its toll on me both mentally and physically. But I live everyday with  what I have, some days good,other  days not so good. I work with what I have; strength/ weakness, positivity / negativity, courage / fear, whatever it may be ; I do it because I have to.

I now look at life in an whole new perspective . I don’t take one second for granted. Life is so unpredictable, tragedy or sickness can change your life without a moments notice. What we choose to do with it can make all the difference. It can make us bitter or better. I strive everyday to be that better person.

Change is a part of life. And yes I have changed and I hope you can accept that change in me. I’m trying to be the best of my ability to  be the best person I can be with what I have. Take me for who I am at this moment, for the people that have been with me through this change, please remember; we have all changed. Embrace the change and go with it. It’s not a bad thing! Change is inevitable in all of us!