Over the past few years I have written enough blogs on the subject of depression and anxiety to fill a book, and yet I still feel I haven’t adequately defined it. I guess the only real way to understand what depression is, is to experience it for yourself and you really don’t want to do that. It differs from one person to the other and ranges from mild to major symptoms. We really can’t compare my experience with mental illness to someone else’s.
I have used many analogies to try and define what it felt like to live with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. They all give you a better understanding of this illness. I wanted to share a post that popped up on my newsfeed today, it was quite interesting, so I thought I’d share it with you.
This is so true for someone who suffers from major depression. Your body is so exhausted and tired of fighting the raging thoughts in your head, that all your head wants is to die. The never ending torture makes life not worth living; well that’s what your distorted mind is telling you.
But there is hope and it’s not rocket science; you can take control of your thoughts to a certain degree, at least to a place where life doesn’t seem so unbearable as you thought. Thoughts are just that; thoughts. They cannot harm you unless you allow them to, you don’t always have to believe every thought that comes into your head. When you are fighting this mental illness, your mind is producing thoughts that are distorted and untrue; so don’t always believe your own mind. Your best defence is to realize which thoughts are distorted and which are not; not always easy to do but you can do it. It could save your life! Talk to yourself, tell yourself you are going to get through this, it will not last forever. Be gentle with yourself, do whatever it takes to get well and only you know what that is. Go for a short walk not a marathon, listen to some of your favourite music, take a nap if you need it and don’t feel guilty about doing so or just watch a funny tv show. Or just sing in the shower or bath. These are the little things and that’s where you have to start; baby steps.
With the holly, jolly season approaching it can throw us for a loop. Christmas can bring up so many different feelings and emotions; all not jolly and bright! I really have an hard time during Christmas, it’s expected of us to be an Hallmark fantasy movie; where all is merry and bright. But when you suffer from a mental illness, that is so far from how you are really feeling, maybe even quite the opposite. And with that comes much guilt, shame, anger toward yourself for not feeling the spirit of Christmas that is so expected of you. But if you are just not feeling it, that’s okay, just do what you can and that’s all is required.
I may never see the day when I am totally free of this hateful illness but there’s one thing I know and that is; I WILL NEVER LOSE HOPE! Hope is what gets me through the day, hope is what gets me out of bed, hope is what pushes me to enjoy life as best I can while fighting this horrible illness. And you can to, I believe in you , life is worth living; no matter what our broken mind is telling us.