The colours of Fall have splashed it’s vibrant hue across the picturesque landscape. A painting that could only be captured by the Master of Artists; the Creator of Heaven and Earth. The beauty could take away the breath of any beholder. I know it was always one of my favourite and inspiring seasons of the year. But for someone who suffers from seasonal affective disorder or other mental health disorders, the changes of the seasons could certainly be a trigger to exacerbate the already troubling illness. The dormancy of the trees and plant life could be a reminder of the dying earth. Then there’s the lack of daylight and increased darkness that could cloud the mood of any sufferer of SADs (seasonal affective disorder).
I was never officially diagnosed with SADs but I’m sure I can surely self diagnose. From my own personal experience, I believe it’s next to impossible when you suffer from Major Depression to not be affected by the seasons. Any change, no matter what that change may be, can greatly affect your depression. I think a large reason for this is that with change comes the inability to control the change and thus you feel out of control and there is no worse feeling then losing that control. I believe it’s human nature to want to be in control of your life at all times.
Over the last few weeks and months I have struggled with my mental health. Having said that, when have I not struggled with my mental well being? Albeit sometimes more then others. Thankfully over the past few months i have certainly been in a better place than I have been for years. The reality of my diagnosis is that there is no cure. So I live with this disease; the best that I can. And with medication my symptoms are much more controlled and therefore I can live a somewhat ‘normal life’. And for that I am grateful.
Yes I have days when I wish things were better but then I am reminded that things could be so much worse. So I will take all the good days I can and be thankful for what I have and not dwell on what this illness has taken from me. And believe me, it has taken so much. But I will not give up, I will not give in, I will keep going, no matter what! Thankful and grateful for ‘every’ day!