Ever since our return from Montreal, after Lauren’s surgery, I have experienced an overwhelming sense of depression that I can’t seem to shake. Depression is so disabling, so cruel, so unexplainable, so isolating. But yet I have suffered so many years with this crippling disorder. So often I have asked the question. “Where is God in all this suffering?” In this blog I’d like to answer this question to the best of my ability, to try and make sense to suffering. Especially when it comes to such a loving God.
To begin with I need to clarify that I don’t have the answer, not really, I can’t speak for God; God is all knowing, He is omniscient. Who am I? I am mortal – I am subject to death. I am not equal to God, God is sovereign; He is supreme, He has power over all things. Isaiah 55:8-9 sums it up best, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Therefore I can only speak about what my own thoughts and experiences are when it comes to this subject.
With my own illness I could never understand what good could come of this. It done more harm than good from what I could see. And then there was so much in this world that I couldn’t understand. For example, world hunger, wars, earthquakes, floods, poverty, homelessness, cancer, disease, suicide, the loss of a child, the death of a spouse and the list could go on. Was God the blame or the answer to all of this chaos and unfairness? I think we need to remember that we live in a fallen world, and we experience the effects of the fall. One of those effects is injustice and seemingly senseless suffering and unfairness. But as Christians we know that in this life we will have suffering and experience pain. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.” But also we must remember that this life is not the end but the beginning of everlasting life for those who believe. Revelation 21;4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
Sometimes I just have to remember that I don’t always have to know the why to my suffering. Sometimes I just have to trust and let God do the rest. Romans 8:18&28, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him.”
There is one thing I have learned in all this suffering is that it has allowed me to help others who are experiencing similar situations. 2 Corinthians 1;3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles/’sufferings’, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
I hope I have in some small way helped you to better understand why we sometimes suffer and experience loss. God definitely comforts us in our pain, suffering and loss. Hebrews 4:15 “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” Again God says in 2 Kings 20:5 “I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears.” So when we are in the midst of despair, grief, pain and loneliness; God sees us, God hears us, God loves us!