I just finished reading another heart wrenching story written by a Mom about her daughter who had died by suicide. Her Mom goes on to say (speaking of her daughter) that in March 2017 she lost her battle with depression and died from suicide.
The stigma that society as placed on suicide is ridiculous. So much so that it steals from the grieving family the opportunity to grieve without prejudice, guilt or shame. And the deceased is looked upon in an undignified, judgemental and condescending manner. It’s sad, that even today we still use language like ‘committed suicide’ or ‘taking your own life’, as if it is an intentional, deliberate and rational process. If someone loses a 10 years battle with cancer, we talk about their bravery, their strength and how they were an inspiration to all around them. And they were certainly all of those things, I am not denying that. But people (myself included) with depression are fighting a constant battle as well. Some people lose their battle with depression and other mental illness through suicide. But the way in which Society views this person is the complete opposite of the way they would view someone with cancer or some other physical disease. They are looked upon as selfish, weak and highly stigmatized. It’s time for this ignorant way of thinking to end!
Someone suffering from a mental illness should be treated with the same dignity, pride, love, compassion and remembered as brave fighters, regardless of the circumstances of their death. Maybe you have not been introduced to the ‘death of shame’, but maybe if it hit close to home, to someone you loved, you would soon start to see suicide in a new light. I hope you never have to experience such an horrific death but there are no exemptions. So the next time you are quick to pass judgement, may you think before you speak. Someone who has fought a mental illness for too long and within their broken mind the only way they see to ‘fix it’ is through suicide. Relieving themselves and their families of this horrible burden of sorrow, shame and ugliness.
This blog is not based on my spiritual beliefs and I wish not to get into a religious debate. But is based on the right to die and be treated with dignity, no matter the cause. We were always taught to respect the dead. It’s about being treated humanely with no disrespect for anyone involved. But may we leave the ‘God Stuff”, up to God, it’s certainly not our place to judge; God has the last word! But may it be our responsibility to, love, to be compassionate and a shoulder to cry on. I want to be that person that is there for the hurting, the misjudged and for those suffering from a loss of a loved one by suicide. Or if you are that person that is contemplating suicide or just wishing you could die to end this unbearable pain, then I’m here for you too. I have been and still have those days just like that, so you are not alone; I’ve been there too.
I know I have nothing to be ashamed of because I have a mental illness. Yes, my brain is broken and tells me I’m a loser, I’m weak, I’m a good for nothing, etc. No different then if I was suffering from anorexia and my brain was telling me; I’m fat and ugly. None of which are true but when you have a ‘sick’ brain you cannot always control the way you think.
And that is why more needs to be done to find more effective ways to treat the brain and then suicide wouldn’t need to be an option and hopelessness would be turned to hope and hope to life. But right now I believe our Mental Health System is failing us, one suicide at a time; at an alarming and frightening rate. Someone open your eyes! We are in the midst of a suicidal epidemic and very little is done. ‘Let’s Talk’ is great but ‘Let’s Do’!