I Want To Skate Like “Bruddy”

I’m beginning to realize our battles with Lauren have only just begun. And we already feel exhausted from making sure that Lauren’s rights are met.  We are supposedly living in an all inclusive society. A place where children are not singled out has being different. But I think where all children are equal, regardless of their disabilities. And never tell a child they can’t do something because the have an impairment.

Our dilemma, this time, began when we signed Logan up for CanSkate, who’s only requirement was an helmet, pair of skates and a fee. So on Logan’s first week of skating, I took Lauren along with us to watch ‘Bruddy’ skate. So when Logan got on the ice and we turned to go to a viewing area, Lauren started to scream and cry. When I asked, “what was wrong”. She answered, “I want to skate like ‘Bruddy’. I tried to distract her but she had her mind made up, “I’m going on the ice”. So I consoled her by telling her I’d call  and we would see if we could get her signed up for skating. Lisa arrived and went to talk to someone about signing her up, even with CP.  So the lady said, “sure no problem, this was an all inclusive club and by law were required to accept anyone wanting to join. Three weeks later we finally (after Lisa emailed to check on the hangup) got an email that saddened us so much. There were requirements and recommendations that stated in the email from CBNSC; “Sorry for the delay, we contacted SkateNL for recommendations who in turn forwarded our email to SkateCanada for further  recommmendations”. Is Lauren the only disabled child in Canada who applied for CanSkate?  And Logan could join, no questions asked, but Lauren was different and neither of the three clubs were prepared to register a disabled child! We try to instill in Lauren that she can do anything she wants to do , but maybe in a modified way. ” Their suggestions (SkateCanada) were to allow her to wear her double bladed skates and to use a red glider. Now Lauren can’t use a walker let alone a glider. The only other requirement was that there be an adult program assistant with her at all times”. All other children could use a juniour PA because they were “normal kids”. The catch being; there are no adult PA’s in the CBNSC. So we were expected to find our own, “they suggested that this could be a parent”. It’s our intention to treat  Lauren like Logan and be like the other kids; using a PA. Not her parents, we want to teach her independence, to meet and trust other people and be just like all kids. “Also to be required to pay the SkateCanada Insurance fee of 32.65” (for the parent). If this was what we wanted; we could take Lauren to the Parent and Tot Program for free, rather then paying SkateCanada for the same service. “Lauren is permitted to start skating once ALL recommendations from SkateCanada are met”.

I called the CBNSC to state my concerns, then SkateNL, no response, then SkateCanada. After having a satisfactory and pleasant conversation with SkateCanada, I was told they took my issues very seriously and would be working on them the first thing Monday morning, because it was now 4:00 on Friday and the office was closing. I received a text from CBNSC, I texted back saying that it was okay, I had contacted SkateCanada; I think that “upset the cart”. She called anyway (against my wishes) in which I said, I didn’t need to speak with her, I was satisfied with SkateCanada and could have ended the conversation there. And I had to end the call by saying, ” I’m finished this conversation because it’s getting nowhere. which she didn’t hear because she was too busy ranting in the phone and I ended the call. She then called back, I didn’t answer, I was finished with this conversation. She left an unpleasant message: I then had to block her number. She kept saying that they were only looking out for her protection. And  SkateCanada had the nerve to say, “and the protection of the others”. If they were so concerned about her protection then provide her with her own Adult Assistant, I’m sure they could find someone in NL. Or if they can’t provide the proper protection for disabled children, then maybe they should  say we can’t handle disabled children in the first place. And exclude them because proper protection is not available by the club.

It’s kind of ironic because it was only recently that Lauren participated in the “Blind Hockey Canada” because she has a vision impairment. The attendants were all volunteer juniour hockey members who skated with Lauren by holding their hands under her arms and skated around the rink like a pro. She was so excited and needed no assistance from Mommy or Daddy. She was a big girl now, skating all by herself; just like ‘Bruddy’.

I feel if Blind Hockey Canada can provide this service then so should SkateCanada. We left with a sense of pride and accomplishment. But with our email from CBNSC, it just left us deflated and discouraged. Sometimes when “we are only looking out for her protection”, it reinstates that she is disabled and has a parent you can take that has an insult. Lauren’s hurts won’t come from falling down on the ice but being constantly reminded that she is different and certainly not always included in the “Norm”!.

Attachment:

The ways in which I feel Lauren is and was discriminated against is;

  1. She was not offered registration immediately, three weeks later and “they” are still working on the logistics as stated in an email of October 6, we are now in week four.
  2. The email of October 6 from CBNSC and I’m quoting; “the possibility of registering Lauren for CanSkate program”. Implying it was a possibility not a certainty.
  3. If SkateCanada already had a policy in place concerning disabled children and were confident in how to register that child, then why the logistics between CBNSC, SkateNL, SkateCanada? Were they not competent enough to handle the situation and carry out a stress free registration that should have been handled in one day, like our son who is “normal” child.
  4. SkateCanada are responsible to have PA’s available and not expect a parent or guardian to be on the ice. Again pointing out that Lauren is different because she requires her Mommy and Daddy, and not a regular PA.
  5. If we had known that we would have encountered all this discrimination and and differential treatment of one of our children over the other, then neither would have been considered to join SkateCanada.
  6. If Skate Canada was so all inclusive has they claim, why wasn’t the proper protocol already in place; at a time in which a disabled child registered. Rather then all this disconnection between CBNSC, SkateNL, SkateCanada. I believe they are not has all inclusive has what they claim  or I would NOT be writing this blog. It’s obvious that neither club knew just what to do with a child with a disability.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Note:                                                                                                                                                                October 17  Conversation I had with SkateCanada                                                                      I talked things over with my wife and we decided that neither of our children will be a part of CanSkate because of the strained relationship we feel we now have with the club. We do wish to have a full refund of our son’s fee which can be forwarded to us by mail at……..                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      As of today; November 4th we have NOT received a reimbursement.