How many times have I heard the phrase, “Bad Nerves”, in my lifetime? Is that something like an ingrown toenail? Maybe its the flu or diarrhea? Sorry but I’m real, not here to win any popularity contest, say it like I see it. That phrase to me is an insult, that minimizes the reality of someone suffering from depression and/or anxiety. It takes away from the actual seriousness and pain of this illness and suggest a far lesser degree of intensity. Oh, they just got ‘bad nerves’! That may have worked fifty years ago but not today.
This disorder needs to be taken more serious and may I suggest that the medical field would do the same. If this were the case, we would see far less suicides which stands now worldwide at, “one suicide every forty seconds”. That blows my mind; no pun intended.
One problem is; why are people so reluctant to take medication for this illness? I believe in part it’s the shame and stigma that goes with this illness. If I take medication I must be weak. Why can’t I fight this illness myself? It’s like all other illnesses that require medication. Would I tell someone to stop taking their insulin because they can beat diabetes on their own? Off course I wouldn’t. Then why are people so quick to tell someone; you don’t need medication, you can do this on your own. I’m sorry people but medication can and will help this illness if the correct drug is found for you. Every individual is different and what medication may work for one person may not work for the other. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find the correct one and find the one that’s right for you. Never give up!
Then there’s the timeline people put on this illness. I didn’t know there was a certain amount of time allocated for recovery or improvement.Every person suffering from this illness recover (and I use this word loosely) at different degrees and some take longer than others to reach a functioning level again. One cannot put a time limit on this illness, it’s a one day, one hour, one minute process. And to be truthful I don’t know if anyone is ever fully recovered from this disease. It’s like cancer, once you have it there’s always the fear of it’s return. But we live in hopes that we can live a happy, functioning life again. Right now I am functioning but not at a level where I want to be; I will never give up, even if it kills me. I will die from trying to beat this disease. I can’t and won’t accept that this is the best I’ll ever be; I will be better.
I also believe the Church Community need to take this illness more seriously and be held somewhat responsible for sending mentally ill people to an hellish grave. I know this may sound harsh but if it gets us talking and searching for God’s direction, then I have accomplished what I sat out to do. Churches are scared to death to even touch this topic, so they do nothing at all. But are quick to judge the fate of one who has lost the battle with this illness. Let’s leave that to God, for it is not our place to judge. And because I have this illness doesn’t mean that God is going to take it all away.He can but because He doesn’t, it doesn’t mean He’s left us alone and we are less in His eyes. The bible says, ‘I am the apple of His eye”.
This has been a long five years battling this cancer-like illness. It has eaten away at who I was and I may never get that person back again. But I will certainly be the best person I can be with what I have left. It has stolen so many lost moments with my wife and children and for that I will forever hate this illness. Try has hard as I must, I know I still have to fight to live in the present moment. For those who are reading this and can relate, I pray that the God of love, mercy and grace will look down upon us and pull us out of this horrible pit. And for those who are reading this and don’t get it, that’s ok, be thankful that you have not had to experience this nightmare. But may God awake you from your slumber and open your eyes to those around you who are suffering in silence, maybe in your own family. May He open your minds to get a glimpse into what this illness really is.
Call it what you may; Bad Nerves or Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder. The truth remains, many are suffering this horrible disease who are looking for someone to “just take them seriously”. 