I got up this morning, not feeling super but thankful that I was up. The day looked so overwhelming for me, so I went to my prayer chamber (the bathroom) and poured my heart out to God once again. Then I went to my Facebook blog comments and read one that really spoke truth and opened my mind to the reality of my illness. I thought I would share it with all who may read my blog; and elaborate on it a little more.
The comment said,”Great writing Harris, thank God I cannot relate to it. I think of you often, you are an inspiration.” I love the honesty she shared when she said, “thank God I cannot relate to it.” That brought so much joy to me because I am so thankful for those who cannot relate. Because this illness is not a one that many would survive. While I prayed, I thanked God that He was allowing ‘me’ to go through this illness; that means I took the place of someone else not having too. Maybe that other person may have turned to other alternatives to numb the pain and despair but I turned to God.
I try to reply to all my comments on my blogs. This was my reply to this particular comment and I hope it fills your heart with gratitude and thankfulness if you are not dealing with this dreaded illness. And if you are, may you find peace and comfort in what I say. My reply,”Thanks again xxxxxx for taking the time to read my blog (Inside My Broken Mind) I am so thankful too that you cannot relate, because this illness is a living hell. If I could take this illness from someone else and put it on myself so they could live a “normal” life, I would. I thank God for doing that for me, when He sent Jesus because that’s what He done for me. So everyday I live in Him, He is my Rock!”
I don’t profess to be perfect and have all the answers because I don’t. But in order to survive this illness you have to depend on someone bigger then yourself. An higher power. Because if you think you can do this yourself, I’m afraid you are sadly mistaken. I wish it were that easy but it’s not; we need a supernatural power. All the drugs, therapy, councilling can only help to a point; and I am grateful for all of that. But the bottom line is we need something and someone bigger.
So if you are at the end of your rope and hanging by a thread, then tie a knot and hang on. If you have tried everything, like I did and found no cure; then try God! We have nothing to loose but everything to gain. On those days when you cannot get out of bed, those days when you just want to die, those days when you have no hope, and those days when you feel all alone in a crowded world; look to Him!
Be thankful if you cannot relate because this is not a journey anyone should have to travel. But if you are like me and have to endure this living hell; be thankful that we have an advocate with the Father, the man Christ Jesus. And He said,”I will NEVER leave you or forsake you”. Hope I haven’t come across has a religious fanatic because I’m far from that. But I speak of my only hope through this illness. I hope it helps in some way to brighten your day and give you peace.
And to those of you who can’t relate; be thankful! Be very thankful!
