Tag: Stigma

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“Oh Me Nerves”!

How many times have I heard the phrase, “Bad Nerves”, in my lifetime? Is that something like an ingrown toenail? Maybe its the flu or diarrhea? Sorry but I’m real, not here to win any popularity contest, say it like I see it. That phrase to me is an insult, that minimizes the reality of someone suffering from depression and/or anxiety. It takes away from the actual seriousness and pain of this illness and suggest a far lesser degree of intensity. Oh, they just got ‘bad nerves’! That may have worked fifty years ago but not today.

This disorder needs to be taken more serious and may I suggest that the medical field would do the same. If this were the case, we would see far less suicides which stands now worldwide at, “one suicide every forty seconds”. That blows my mind; no pun intended.

One problem is; why are people so reluctant to take medication for this illness? I believe in part it’s the shame and stigma that goes with this illness. If I take medication I must be weak. Why can’t I fight this illness myself? It’s like all other illnesses that require medication. Would I tell someone to stop taking their insulin because they can beat diabetes on their own? Off course I wouldn’t. Then why are people so quick to tell someone; you don’t need medication, you can do this on your own. I’m sorry people but medication can and will help this illness if the correct drug is found for you. Every individual is different and what medication may work for one person may not work for the other. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find the correct one and find the one that’s right for you. Never give up!

Then there’s the timeline people put on this illness. I didn’t know there was a certain amount of time allocated for recovery or improvement.Every person suffering from this illness recover (and I use this word loosely) at different degrees and some take longer than others to reach a functioning level again. One cannot put a time limit on this illness, it’s a one day, one hour, one minute process. And to be truthful I don’t know if anyone is ever fully recovered from this disease. It’s like cancer, once you have it there’s always the fear of it’s return. But we live in hopes that we can live a happy, functioning life again. Right now I am functioning but not at a level where I want to be; I will never give up, even if it kills me. I will die from trying to beat this disease. I can’t and won’t accept that this is the best I’ll ever be; I will be better.

I also believe the Church Community need to take this illness more seriously and be held somewhat responsible for sending mentally ill people to an hellish grave. I know this may sound harsh but if it gets us talking and searching for God’s direction, then I have accomplished what I sat out to do. Churches are scared to death to even touch this topic, so they do nothing at all. But are quick to judge the fate of one who has lost the battle with this illness. Let’s leave that to God, for it is not our place to judge. And because I have this illness doesn’t mean that God is going to take it all away.He can but because He doesn’t, it doesn’t mean He’s left us alone and we are less in His eyes. The bible says, ‘I am the apple of His eye”.

This has been a long five years battling this cancer-like illness. It has eaten away at who I was and I may never get that person back again. But I will certainly be the best person I can be with what I have left. It has stolen so many lost moments with my wife and children and for that I will forever hate this illness. Try has hard as I must, I know I still have to fight to live in the present moment. For those who are reading this and can relate, I pray that the God of love, mercy and grace will look down upon us and pull us out of this horrible pit. And for those who are reading this and don’t get it, that’s ok, be thankful that you have not had to experience this nightmare. But may God awake you from your slumber and open your eyes to those around you who are suffering in silence, maybe in your own family. May He open your minds to get a glimpse into what this illness really is.

Call it what you may; Bad Nerves or Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder. The truth remains, many are suffering this horrible disease who are looking for someone to “just take them seriously”.

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The Biggest Threat To My Mental Health

The rain is coming down in buckets or is it raining cats and dogs? Either way; it’s raining. And just like life, the sun doesn’t always shine, there has to be some rain sometimes. Eventually the rain will end and the sun will shine again; that is one thing we are guaranteed in life, nothing last forever. So it is with my illness, I have days when it’s pouring rain but then there are days when the sun shines again. There will come a reprieve, a calm. It’s my belief that for a lot of us, this illness never fully goes away; but that doesn’t mean we can’t have sunshine in our lives. There are several threats that impedes this ray of sunshine from shining.

The expectations that society has put on mental health is one such threat. We are expected to put on a pretty face, a smile, and pretend everything is ok, so others won’t be exposed to our illness. And in so doing it will alleviate them of their uncomfortable, social phobia of mental illness. I swear some people think this illness is contagious. Trust me it’s not. Society needs to realize this is an illness just like any other illness, certainly not a threat, we just want to be accepted and not treated has a second class citizen but as a human being that is suffering on the inside. But in a way that you cannot see because it’s not a physical illness but oh so real on the inside. A pain that you cannot see.

Let’s attack the Government again; like its going to do some good. I’m not being a pessimist but a realist. I think one of the last things on the “to do list” of our Government is to invest in the growing epidemic of mental illness. My heart goes out to all those who are suffering with no help available.Therefore I consider the Government a very big threat to my mental health and I hold them accountable for lack of treatment, support and availability of humane facilities.

And of course stigma isn’t a word that’s going away anytime soon, when it comes to mental health. The minute the words itself, “mental illness” is mentioned; the red flags go up. It is one of the most stigmatized issues in our society and that is really too bad. It is only when we speak out and began talking about and educating society on this issue will these walls of stigma come down. I’m certainly open to talking about my mental illness. I just hope it’s doing some good and not falling on deaf ears. Because if the walls of stigma did come down, even somewhat, it would certainly help in diminishing the threat against mental illness. And one less thing that we as sufferers would have to deal with. And would be able to concentrate on getting well again.

But the greatest threat against my mental illness is; “Myself”! For me and I am only speaking for myself, that sometimes I was my greatest threat. I put too much trust in others and hoping for someone or something to make me well. When really I needed to search within myself; I had and have more strength and wisdom then I realized. I was afraid of what others thought of me if they knew I had a mental illness. Big deal what someone else thinks, they are not walking in my shoes. What really matters is what I think of myself. And yes there are/were times when my self confidence, my self worth and my sense of belonging was very low. But gradually over time, I realize, I am no different then anyone else out there. We all have our struggles, failures and insecurities. And me having a mental illness, doesn’t make me any less of a person then someone who doesn’t. I’ve begun to realize that I can’t look at myself as being different but unique, equal and not a threat to my own well being.

So, from now on, I will hold my head up high, walk with confidence and not be ashamed of my mental illness. I will shout it from the mountain tops and before long others will follow and not be threatened by anyone or anything.

Monique

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Stigma & Mental Illness

I have no idea where I come up with my blogs. You would think there were only a few issues to write about on the topic of mental illness. But they just keep flowing through my pencil; as fast as I can print on paper, the faster my brain tells me what to write. So hopefully I never get writer’s block.

I’ve eluded to stigma or stigmatized in several blogs but I think it deserves a post of its own. The stigma that surrounds mental illness is astounding and comes from all facets of life; even the person with a mental illness themselves.

Let’s begin by defining exactly what stigma is and its relation to mental health. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality or person”. For example; shame, disgrace, or humiliation. Stigma is a negative stereotype. Stigma is a reality for many people with a mental illness and “they report that how others judge them is one of their greatest barriers to a complete and satisfying life”.

The Canadian Mental Health Association stated that, “Mental illness can affect anybody, regardless of age, gender, culture, ethnicity or social class. But no matter who they are, people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness are all likely to experience stigma. Public attitudes and beliefs, often based on fear and misunderstanding, stereotype individuals with mental illness, exposing them to prejudice and discrimination. Stigma infects every issue surrounding mental illness, often with worse consequences than the illness itself. The World Health Organization declared stigma to be the single most important barrier to overcome in the community.”

Having said all of that, it’s time to get a little more personal and to express my own thoughts and experiences about stigma. Education and speaking out are two of the most important elements in breaking down the walls of stigma. For me personally I have well self-educated myself on the topic of stigma and my own mental illness. And I have most definitely spoken out and talked openly and publicly about my illness. I was guilty of stigmatizing myself because I had a mental illness. I was ashamed, afraid to go out in public or be around other people for fear of being looked down upon, belittled or looked upon as being different. But what I have come to realize is that we are all different, all unique and all have a mental illness (in one way or another); none of us are perfect. I now love sharing my story and talking about my mental illness, it as opened up an whole new world for me. Not an easy one but life is not always easy.

The Health Care System in this province is partially to blame for the stigma that surround this illness. From my own personal experience, the moment you walk in through the hospital doors, you feel different, you are treated different; you are stigmatized. The physiatric unit is usually isolated and in the basement or if not, the windows are locked shut with iron bars. And all units are locked down. A patient or a criminal? And here I was suffering from anxiety; what better way to push your anxiety through the roof. Our mental health system needs to be totally revamped. Is that going to happen anytime soon? I doubt it. The answer for now is to keep speaking out and let others be aware and become educated.

The media as played a role in the way mental illness is stigmatized. Often portraying someone with mental illness as being different or sometimes even dangerous. But I have also found that the media, especially today, are trying to break down the walls of stigma. For example, the Bell Aliant campaign; Lets Talk, has really educated and helped the general public to see mental illness in a new light. And this is what we need; more people talking openly about this issue.

Lastly, the Government of NL need to be held accountable. One very important way that the government itself can break down the walls of stigma is to totally demolish the Waterford Hospital. It screams; STIGIMA! And the building itself is falling down and delapitated. The halls have a ghostly aura about them. I remember when I was very ill and at the end of my resources, that I packed my bag, with the intention of being admitted; I didn’t know where else to turn. But sadly I was turned away because they said, “the Waterford was no place for me”. It would only make my anxiety worse. Now that speaks volumes to me. So I was sent home with a pill under my tongue. For me to want to be admitted, to such a place, meant I was desperate. But I left feeling there was no hope. What we need is a new hospital; a hospital that gives us hope. Without hope we will never heal.

We need a hospital with an environment that says, welcome, you are safe here,we are going to give you the help and support that you need and deserve. And not every illness cramped into a single room or wing. Someone dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. placed on wings of the hospital that are less anxiety provoking; where patients are dealing with the same or similar issues. And other severe illnesses placed in a safe environment for them, based on the severity of their illness, not on wherever a bed is available. It doesn’t make sense herding all illnesses/disorders onto the same ward. You wouldn’t put a cardiac patient on a maternity ward, so why would you put someone with depression on a psychosis ward. Your diagnosis should determine where you are placed in the hospital. Also, if a school was as stigmatized and delapitated as the Waterford; would we send our children there? No, we would fight for a new school. Why then are we willing to send our loved ones to such a disgraceful building?

The name of the hospital itself needs to be changed: “The Waterford Hospital” shouts stigma and raises red flags right away. The first thought that comes to my mind is; “the looney bin”, that’s just how stigmatized the building is. So sometimes to break down the walls of stigma, we have to literally tear down the walls!

So, let’s get talking and break down the walls of stigma. I am not ashamed of my illness, no more then if I had any other form of illness. I am a real person, with a real illness and I wish to be treated no different. I will face life with my head held high and no one as the right to stigmatize or discriminate against me because I have a mental illness. Maybe tomorrow it could be you, never judge a book by it’s cover! Respect everyone!