I’m reading a book by Benjamin Cox and in his book he says, “I am writing to save my life; it’s the only thing that helps, like therapy in a way.” I can totally relate to what he’s referring to. Ben is a recovering addict; I’m a recovering mental ill person. Just like Ben, we will have to fight our “demons” for the rest of our lives.
Every day for me is still a battle/struggle. Life doesn’t come by so easily has it use to. Even the little things, sometimes seem so overwhelming. Just like Ben, I will always be a work in progress. There will be days when I don’t feel so well but I do have things in place that help me to cope. And writing my thoughts on paper, I find really helps. Then sharing these thoughts on my blog makes me feel like I am helping someone else who is suffering from their mental illness.
It seems like forever since I have written, but that’s because I have written but have not published in my blog. Sometimes my thoughts are too deep that they are not for public viewing. This past week has really been a tough one. In spite of my illness, I still have so many battles to fight. All of which are triggers for my illness but fight I must; I don’t live in a bubble, life still has to move on. One such battle is trying to obtain funding for Lauren. We get no Government assistance; I have gone from Provincial to Federal with no hope in sight. Then accessibility and all inclusion battles have left me discouraged, drained and to a point of just giving up but I know I can’t; she’s depending on me. Raising a child with a disability opens your eyes to an whole new different world; that only those who have experienced it can relate. A world and society that are not all that accepting has we hope to think they are.
I guess now I’m an advocate for both our disabilities; Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder and Lauren’s Cerebral Palsy. Neither of which our society has made it any easier to be accepted and included. There is a stigma attached to both and I’m sure that Ben can certainly relate to; with him being a recovering addict.
I find writing to be an outlet. A place to free your mind of all it’s thought. A means to find an escape, even if it’s only for a few moments. Like Ben, if it’s going to save my life then I will write, write write!