Tag: Lauren

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Lauren’s Adventure to McDonalds (in her wheelchair)

When Lauren was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, little did we know what would be involved. From surgeries, botox injections, seizures, therapy, CP Clinics and the list goes on; it’s a never ending journey, always evolving. And that journey is not always on a smooth, straight road but many are the bumps, turns and potholes. But I would just like to elaborate on one such pothole that we’ve hit, many times and that being accessibility.

If you are not confined or dependent on a wheelchair or the person behind pushing the wheelchair, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. You so innocently take your accessibility into a building, restaurant, house; all for granted. Many times I have wished I could  take the owner of a business, a public building, etc. on a journey in the day of a life of someone in a wheelchair. Maybe just sit “them” in a wheelchair and say, ” now go and let’s see how far you get. Their view of accessibility would drastically change and maybe look at it in an whole new light. And sometimes that’s what it would take.

I’m going to zone in on one business in particular and come for a ride with us in Lauren’s wheelchair.

It was our first visit to McDonalds in Bay Roberts ( I love freedom of speech) when we moved here two years ago. We pulled into the parking lot and searched for the handicap parking spaces. Oops! not spaces; there was only one and that one was occupied. So I searched again for two regular parking spaces that could accommodate our side entry van. There it was, at the end of the parking lot but at least it would give us space to exit the van using the side entry ramp. Wow, nothing to that (I thought)!

Next we maneuvered our way through the parking lot and hit the curb sidewalk that we crossed, to only be faced with crossing the drive-thru entrance. A little dangerous for someone in a wheelchair or not. Then we got to the front door with no powered push button opener and then the second door, inside a porch smaller then the wheelchair; I was stressed to the max. Once inside I looked around for a wheelchair table, there was one but it was occupied. By this time I was so frustrated that I just wanted to leave but Miss Lauren was bent on getting her “happy” meal. So I obliged her and we sat in an aisle table. Then she wanted to go to the bathroom, I need not say more.

Then it was time to exit the restaurant, where would I start? But in order to get out of there I had to start my trek to get back to the van. Once I so anxiously got to the van; what to my wandering eyes should appear but another vehicle parked a foot from our entrance to the van. This made it impossible for us to access our van. What do we do? Wait, until whoever owned the vehicle to move, so we could pull out the ramp and enter the van. So we waited and waited…..

And that’s the story of our adventure to McDonalds in a wheelchair. And that’s when I became an advocate for accessibility (like I needed something else on my plate). Being an advocate certainly doesn’t win you any popularity contests, but that’s not why I do what I do. I do it to make change for the better, improve our society as an whole and to just make our world a better place to live for us “all”.

My advocacy began by making a phone call to the owner of McDonald’s , who listened to my concerns very attentively. I thought to myself, that was a little too easy. I was to learn later that I was right. He did tell me at that time that renovations were going to be done in the Fall and he would contact me for my input on accessibility.

The Fall came and construction began but no telephone call from the owner. So I thought, if changes were needed for accessibility, they would need to be implemented during construction, not after construction was complete. So I thought I would do the courteous thing and give him a call back to jog his memory on our past telephone conversation. I thought I must be talking to a different person, his professionalism just flew out the window. When it came to wheelchair accessibility he said, ” I will only do the “bare minimum” that is required to be considered accessible”. No regard, no compassion, no thought for those confined to a wheelchair; it was all business.

After that conversation I thought, okay, where do I go from here? I was more determined then ever. I went straight to the Government department responsible for enforcing the accessibility code/requirements. I told the department of my concerns and frustrations and they were totally on board. The next day they had an inspector sent out and several building code issues were enforced pertaining to accessibility. And for that I am, on behalf of my four year old daughter and all those who require proper accessibility, I say thank you. We now have push button door openers. Without advocating; these door openers were not in the plans and would not have been installed.

And to the owner of McDonald’s in Bay Robert’s (and out of courtesy I won’t give your name) but I say, “Shame On You”! I hope you will never have to be confined to a wheelchair or anyone in your family: but if you were, then you just might “get it” and have a heart. By the way, the renovations are really nice! Congratulations!

 

 

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Lauren says, Thank you!

The traditional African Proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child”, has just recently been reenacted in an amazing outpouring of kindness. It’s simple really; Lauren Tucker, a 3 year old little girl, diagnosed with cerebral palsy; along with her family, needed help purchasing a wheelchair accessible van. Special thanks goes out to The President’s Choice Children’s Charity for their monumental $20 000 contribution! Yet, without at least an additional $20 000, the dream could not materialize.
However, we, Harris, Lisa, Logan and Lauren Tucker, are ecstatic to report that because of overwhelming support from local businesses and generous individuals, we have reached, and even slightly surpassed, our $20 000 goal!
We have purchased a 2015 fully wheelchair accessible Dodge Grand Caravan in brand new-like condition! This vehicle provides much comfort and peace of mind, especially on frequent highway trips to Janeway appointments!
The monies received beyond our goal, help to cover registration and insurance, as well as much needed mobility aids and other costly physiotherapy equipment that Lauren frequently requires.
The sticker on the back of our van has these words, “This wheelchair accessible van was purchased by LOVE”. Thank you seems insufficient, but from the bottom of our hearts, we realize the blessing it is to be part of such a compassionate community of family, friends and yes, even strangers who have banded together in support of our family!
Alone, our van would still be a dream. Because of Lauren’s village’s investment in raising a child, the African Proverb came true, once again, and the dream has become an amazing reality! Continue reading “Lauren says, Thank you!”

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Sitting on The Knee of Jesus! By Lisa

  • I have seen many versions of this image of Jesus bidding the children to come to Him, despite the disciples’ intent to spare Him from the extra fatigue, after an already tiring day.
    This particular portrayal is my favourite by far. You see, in my imagination, I see the little girl, sitting nearest to Jesus’ heart, as representing all the precious ‘Laurens’ of the world. I even allow myself to note a slight turn in her legs, tilt of her head and her comfort found from holding Jesus’ hand.
    I’ve wondered, in my sometimes overthinking mind, how Jesus could have possibly decided who got to sit on his knee. I think I’ve finally figured it out.
    There had to have been ‘Laurens’ there that day. Those little ones needing just a little extra from Jesus. He loved and blessed each one of them, in turn, making provision for ALL to get to where He was. Little Lauren was not left out; rather she got to sit on the knee of the very One who had the power to offer her the special blessing that was just for her!!
    I’m so thankful for the knee of Jesus and acknowledge the very special place it is!
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Lauren’s Week at The Janeway

This has been one busy week! And I’m glad it’s done! We spent many hours at Janeway therapy sessions and felt floods of emotions! I’m thankful for all Lauren CAN do! Such hard work for a 3 year old, but her “I do it myself” attitude is paying off! Once again I’ve been reminded that different is ok; and perfectly normal! I adore Lauren for who she is right now! And will support her in becoming the best she can be?!

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The Cold, Hard Truth About Mental Illness, Depression and Suicide

  1. II thank God for social media because it gives me a voice, a means to tell my story to others who need to hear it.

Up until recently, I thought that society had come a long way when it comes to the way people look at mental  illness and suicide. I thought the walls of stigma and ignorance (not knowing) had come down somewhat. And maybe they have to a certain point but we have such a long way to go.

You may ask, why would you go on such a public forum and talk about something so stigmatised and controversial? A topic many would not even talk about because of fear and shame. Well, I have nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of and if I can help save the life of one person; it would make it all worth while. So I speak out once again!

To the person who is suffering in silence, you are not alone. There is hope and peace to be found again. I struggle with this everyday, but I see light through the cracks, glimmers of hope in the depths of despair. We can and will; ‘rise again’!

I don’t get up in the morning and say, “I think I’ll have a crappy day today, that would be so much fun”. NO! I awake with panic, a flow of an hot sensation all through my body, accompanied by fear. I get up and struggle through most of the day, hoping this will be a “good day”. It is not “a choice” as some would say or think. Your broken mind is misfiring and happy thoughts don’t come naturally. The chemical imbalance in your brain causes you to see darkness, hopelessness, helplessness and constant negative thoughts that a “normal” brain would not feel. Don’t get excited and think you’re normal – there is no such thing; we all have something, none of us are perfect.

Then there’s the “myth” that it’s the devil making you feel this way. Well let’s not give the devil so much credit! This is not a spiritual battle going on in my head, no more then someone with cancer fighting a spiritual battle, they are fighting an illness and so are people with a mental diagnosis. Yes, I believe as sin entered the world, so did sickness. It’s far beyond my mental ability to understand the “WHY?” I don’t know why God allows this to happen, why I’m sick, why some die by  suicide, why some have cancer and the list goes on. But God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. We cannot see the big picture because our thinking is so small compared to that of an all knowing God. And that’s where I leave it; to God! It’s not for me to say or judge, that’s His department. I just need to trust that He knows best.

Then there’s suicide. What? You are going to talk about suicide? Yes, indeed I am. The ancient myths, lies, opinions and beliefs about suicide are sickening and primitive. It’s time to open our mouths (we use it for everything else) and our eyes, minds, and hearts. I am/was borderline suicidal, when I was at the acute stage of my illness. I prayed to God to just let me die and end all this pain and torment. I could not come to do it myself, not that I’m any stronger then the next person but I believe God as another plan for me and that’s why I’m still here. To be an advocate, a voice; to help others and their caregivers and to give insight on what this illness really is all about. Some statements that I have heard over the years are: 1. If they took their own life, they must be going to hell. 2. That is such a selfish thing to do. 3. They could not have thought about their family and the impact it would have on them. These statements would definitely come from someone who has no idea, no knowledge about the illness and never walked in their shoes.

First of all, the pain and torment that this illness brings is unbearable and you feel the only escape, the only way out is suicide. You see no hope, only a dark tunnel with no light at the end. You get so desperate and so tired of fighting, until all your strength is gone; you have nothing left but flesh and bones, no ability to reason. Thus death is your only way to find peace. Also this is not a selfish act or cowardly way out as some would say but quite the opposite. It is a way to relieve your caregivers of the burden you have brought into their lives. It’s a way to free them of the worry, pain and suffering you have afflicted on them. So you are convinced that they would be better off without you. You are doing them a favour. For those of you who have suffered a lost of a loved one, know now that they are finally at peace and they did this to free themselves and you of this horrible, horrific disease. Do not be ashamed or angry; it was their illness that made them do this. The real person that they were, is now at peace with the angels and are watching over you from afar.

I hope in some small way I have shed some light on this so misunderstood and complicated disease. May we all find compassion, love and forgiveness and  look at mental illness in an whole new light. And may we never be quick to pass judgement on anyone suffering with a mental illness, until we’ve walked a mile in their shoes. May God open our minds and hearts to be our “brothers keeper”.