Tag: expectations

Posted on

To Just Belong

We live in a Society today where people’s greatest need is to just belong. Society dictates a standard that we all strive to achieve. That could be what we think the perfect father/mother is or should be, to achieve financial security, to having the white picket fence and house, the largest truck, coolest car, nicest clothes, social status and the list goes on. The longer the list, the more stress and pressure it imposes on us to strive to be that person. But we can try to achieve all that society imposes on us but we will always fall short of what we think we should be.

The need to have that material gain, social status and that perfect life is a recipe for disaster. What happens when all of ‘that’ comes falling down around us. Our white picket fence falls down, our neighbor gets a nicer car then ours, or worse, we come home one day and our spouse wants a divorce. It can get worse; what do you do when your child/children or yourself get sick , you loose your house through bankruptcy and the beautiful clothes you bought become too small; your physical appearance is shot. Living in our world it’s inevitable that we will have trouble, things won’t always go as planned. No one has that perfect life that society and social media try so desperately to portray.

Let’s be real; life is not perfect!  What happens when death knocks on our door? And it will, that we can be sure of. Are we ready to face the most devastating and cruelest part of life; that being death. I think sometimes we need to take our heads out of the sand and be real, let’s be realistic; our bubble is going to burst sooner or later.

What do we do then? When the bottom falls out of our make-believe world. Will we be able to stand on our own two feet? How will we cope? I believe we have to build our lives on a solid foundation and when the winds blow, the storm comes, the waves crashes up against us, the fire consumes us to ashes; then we are ready to face anything that life throws at us. But I believe we have to build our house on ‘the rock’ (the parable of Jesus found in Matthew 7:25); the rock Christ Jesus. “And  the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not; for it was founded upon a rock”.

What are you building your life on today? Will it stand against the storms of life? Or will you be washed away by the waves? Consumed by the storm! I have personally experienced my share of storms, but I’m still standing. Maybe because I chose to build on a firm foundation. It doesn’t matter if we do; we will still face storms, they will try to beat us down, wash us away, destroy us but God as promised to pick us up, to bring us through our storms; we are promised that He is with us, even ‘in’ the storm. We are never alone and He will meet our greatest need that Society can never meet; and that is our need to just belong. Isaiah 43:1 ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine’.

So what are you searching for? Have you been disillusioned by life and Society’s expectations?  Do you feel you don’t belong, you don’t fit in? Mother Teresa once stated, ‘The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis but rather the feeling of not belonging’. But let me encourage you today and encourage myself; we do belong, we do have a purpose, we are a somebody. You are loved! You belong!

 

Posted on

The Biggest Threat To My Mental Health

The rain is coming down in buckets or is it raining cats and dogs? Either way; it’s raining. And just like life, the sun doesn’t always shine, there has to be some rain sometimes. Eventually the rain will end and the sun will shine again; that is one thing we are guaranteed in life, nothing last forever. So it is with my illness, I have days when it’s pouring rain but then there are days when the sun shines again. There will come a reprieve, a calm. It’s my belief that for a lot of us, this illness never fully goes away; but that doesn’t mean we can’t have sunshine in our lives. There are several threats that impedes this ray of sunshine from shining.

The expectations that society has put on mental health is one such threat. We are expected to put on a pretty face, a smile, and pretend everything is ok, so others won’t be exposed to our illness. And in so doing it will alleviate them of their uncomfortable, social phobia of mental illness. I swear some people think this illness is contagious. Trust me it’s not. Society needs to realize this is an illness just like any other illness, certainly not a threat, we just want to be accepted and not treated has a second class citizen but as a human being that is suffering on the inside. But in a way that you cannot see because it’s not a physical illness but oh so real on the inside. A pain that you cannot see.

Let’s attack the Government again; like its going to do some good. I’m not being a pessimist but a realist. I think one of the last things on the “to do list” of our Government is to invest in the growing epidemic of mental illness. My heart goes out to all those who are suffering with no help available.Therefore I consider the Government a very big threat to my mental health and I hold them accountable for lack of treatment, support and availability of humane facilities.

And of course stigma isn’t a word that’s going away anytime soon, when it comes to mental health. The minute the words itself, “mental illness” is mentioned; the red flags go up. It is one of the most stigmatized issues in our society and that is really too bad. It is only when we speak out and began talking about and educating society on this issue will these walls of stigma come down. I’m certainly open to talking about my mental illness. I just hope it’s doing some good and not falling on deaf ears. Because if the walls of stigma did come down, even somewhat, it would certainly help in diminishing the threat against mental illness. And one less thing that we as sufferers would have to deal with. And would be able to concentrate on getting well again.

But the greatest threat against my mental illness is; “Myself”! For me and I am only speaking for myself, that sometimes I was my greatest threat. I put too much trust in others and hoping for someone or something to make me well. When really I needed to search within myself; I had and have more strength and wisdom then I realized. I was afraid of what others thought of me if they knew I had a mental illness. Big deal what someone else thinks, they are not walking in my shoes. What really matters is what I think of myself. And yes there are/were times when my self confidence, my self worth and my sense of belonging was very low. But gradually over time, I realize, I am no different then anyone else out there. We all have our struggles, failures and insecurities. And me having a mental illness, doesn’t make me any less of a person then someone who doesn’t. I’ve begun to realize that I can’t look at myself as being different but unique, equal and not a threat to my own well being.

So, from now on, I will hold my head up high, walk with confidence and not be ashamed of my mental illness. I will shout it from the mountain tops and before long others will follow and not be threatened by anyone or anything.

Monique