Tag: cope

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The Search For The True Me

Please click on the link below or copy and paste in your URL to read another sad story of a young pastor  who lost his life by suicide. https://www.facebook.com/566080522/posts/10160895596230523/

I cannot stop from exposing mental illness, the urgency and desperation that is felt throughout the world, is ever rising. Never before have we lived in a world/society that is so highly stressed; the expectations that are placed upon individuals are overwhelming, the pressure to be the perfect husband, father, wife, mother, professional and provider are just beyond being realistic. We live in a fantasy environment, where we have unrealistic goals set for ourselves by society. WE have sat ourselves up for failure. We are not perfect and we do not live a perfect life, so lets stop pretending! The facebook cookie cutter lifestyle is the pressure cooker for developing poor mental health and self worth. Where will it all end?

Sadly, many who feel they cannot cope with the expectations of  society, the pressures of life and mental illness; turn to desperate measures; drug abuse,  alcohol abuse, suicide and  anything that will kill the hurt and heal the pain. And we wonder why we have a drug problem on our hands, we need not wonder. Our need and drive to be happy, for some can only be found outside themselves. If we are looking and searching outwardly we are setting ourselves up for a big let down. Happiness cannot be found in anything outside ourselves.

But how do we find happiness within ourselves; when all we feel is sadness, emptiness, loneliness, worthlessness and the list can goes on? To begin with; we are not our thoughts or another way of looking at it is, we are not our minds. There is more to me then my mind and my thoughts. I am a being, a living soul, a spiritual being. That part of our being that exist deep, deep down inside us. It’s not an organ of the body but its our Being. Because a thought enters my mind, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is real or true. Many times our thought are distorted and untrue; so we cannot always listen to our thoughts and let them define us.

We find happiness within us by releasing our past, letting it go; no matter how painful. If we hold onto the past we will never heal, we will never move forward. Letting go basically means giving it over to a spiritual power, someone bigger, someone all knowing. Letting Him bear the weight. We don’t have to carry it anymore. 1 Peter 5:7 says, ‘Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.’ And when we do, it’s like a heavy load that we’ve been carrying is lifted.                                                                                                                                                                         Not only do we need to release the past but we also have to give Him(God)  our future. We have no control over what the future holds but we can trust that He will take care of that for us as well. Surrendering our past and future to Him doesn’t come easily or instantaneously; it will take time and practice. We have to learn to trust in Him and all will be well. Matthew 6:25 says, ‘Take no thought for tomorrow(don’t worry); for tomorrow shall take thought for the things of itself.’ Once we learn to surrender both past and future to Him, then our mental health and spiritual health will flourish.

The greatest lesson I’ve learned in regarding my mental health is, living in the moment, some call it mindfulness. The moment is all we have, the past is gone and the future is not ours to own. This requires taking control of our thoughts; our thoughts will travel both to the past and to the future. But it’s here we have the power within ourselves to control these thoughts. When we travel in either direction we have to bring our thoughts back to the moment; to the here and now. It’s in this moment we will find peace, happiness, joy and contentment; no matter what our past and no matter what the future, we can find happiness right in this moment.

So if you are hurting today, if you are tired from trying to be okay, if life’s expectations have become overwhelming, if you feel you just don’t measure up, if you have an addiction that is out of control and destroying your life, if your past is too painful to go on and your future seems hopeless; don’t give up!  I don’t claim to have all the answers, I don’t, but I do know that with time and God; you can do this. Believe in yourself, you are worth it! I won’t pretend this will be an easy road but you are not alone.

Each of us were put here for a reason, there is a purpose and we will find it. Mine did not come with twenty- eight years of being a business owner but mine came with a lifetime of suffering with a mental illness (major depression and anxiety). Being a business owner was not my purpose in life, it was my job, it did not define who I was on the inside. But now I feel my purpose is to tell others that they can survive and live with a mental illness because I am living proof. I can speak from my heart, from my soul, from my innermost being because I have lived the horror and I can tell you there is hope, there is happiness, there is joy; in spite of it all.

This is an amazing song that  has brought  me much hope!  May you find encouragement, hope and strength in the words and music!

 

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The Day After

My eyes opened and I knew I had to face this day. How am I going to do this? Exhaustion consumed my body before my feet touched the floor. But I knew I had to begin somehow. I felt empty, lonely;  I have to write, there is healing for me through writing. Expressing my thoughts on paper, clears my head, helps the hurt flow through to my pen. This hurt is going to take time, I know it’s not going away in an instant. For how do you say good bye to your best friend and expect not to hurt even when you know it’s not really good bye but see ya later buddy!

It’s that period in between that you wonder how you’re going to cope. I have to believe there is life after death, that there is more to life then this. If not, what’s the point? I have to have faith and trust in something or someone bigger. Which will lead me once again on a path to find answers. Questions that I really already know the answers to. But today I need confirmation and thus my journey down life’s path begins once again.

If my path leads me to the ‘Big Bang Theory’ then it’s there I will certainly find no hope. We live, we die, the END! I can’t accept that, I cannot live my life with no hope. It would be like I were nonexistent. There would be no purpose, a life lost in the wind. I really don’t like this ‘path’; it’s cold and hopeless. I think I’ll turn around and take a path that leads to hope.

This path is much brighter, I see light, bright beams of hope. I think I’ll take this ‘path’ which leads to a Creator; a God that is all knowing, all powerful and everywhere present. A God that loves us and gives us so much hope and purpose and love; for ‘God is Love'(1 John 4:8). For He promises us in 1Thessalonians 4:13,14 “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep(died, passed away), that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him”. 4:16 “For the Lord himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first” 4:17 “Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord”. Wow, what amazing promises of God. There is no greater hope then this, death is not the end but the beginning! Cancer did not win and will not win, if we die in Christ we will never lose our battle with cancer, it’s then we are cancer free, we have won! To quote my father on his deathbed, “Either way I will win! I will be healed and go home or die and go to my heavenly home”. Where we read in 2 Timothy 4:8, “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me on that day; and not me only, but unto all them also that love His appearing”. Amazing!

Do you love His appearing? Do you believe in the return of Jesus? Do you believe in Him? Do you believe in John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”. That is the gospel in a nutshell, its that simple! Billy Graham once said, ‘that once you heard the gospel message once; your life would be forever changed; whether you accept it or not, you will still be changed’. Because if you do not accept Him, you now have the knowledge of the gospel and will be forever etched into your mind. I’m loving this ‘path’ I chose.

The song says, “But until then, my heart will go on singing, until then with joy I’ll carry on, until the day my eyes behold that City, until the day God calls me Home”.

But for now, God didn’t leave us helpless, alone or rejected. He promised to walk this path with us, to never leave us or forsake us. He promised us strength for every step of the way; ‘Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint’. So when life’s losses, troubles, illnesses and tribulations weigh us down to the point of exhaustion, we have the promise that we wait on Him, He will renew our strength again! I am overwhelmed by the mercies and promises of God. Now this is Hope!

“All is well with my soul, He is God in control, I know not all His plans, but I know I’m in His hands.” I want to end this blog with a verse from 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain; faith, hope, and love: but the greatest of these is love.”