Our Reality

For the past fifty-six years now, I’ve attended the Academy of Life. And throughout these years I hope to think I’ve learned a thing or two about life itself. Many have been the ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad; you get the idea, sometimes life seems like a roller coaster ride and you just want to stop and get off. I can’t take this anymore, I’ve had enough. But we keep going, it’s life, we did not create our own reality. So we live life to the best of our ability with what we have.

So what do I mean when I say, ‘we did not create our own reality’. It most commonly means that we didn’t create the world in which we live, and this includes how we think and feel. We certainly live in a society that definitely tries to convince us that this is not true (and I respect that). But from my own life experiences, I find this to be my truth. No matter how I used the ‘power of positive thinking’ or ‘like attracts like’ (The Secret). Everything in my life didn’t come falling into my lap. If that were the case nothing bad would ever happen to us and we know that is not true. And then there are others who might interpret this to mean that if you think negative thoughts, bad things will happen (or think positive thoughts and good things will happen). Yes we can think both negative and positive thoughts but they will not dictate our reality. My thoughts, due to my mental illness, are sometimes distorted, lack of concentration, losing train of thought, memory loss; all which lead me to a disabling reality. So in short, it suggests that by controlling your thoughts, you can control your destiny. When in fact I am not always in control of my thoughts because if I were there would be no room for negative thinking. So I could ‘try’ to think positive thoughts but that is not being realistic, neither is it being a pessimist. Sometimes I feel we have a tendency to brush the negative thoughts under the rug because we just don’t want to deal with them. And by doing so they will just go away. I think not! It’s our way of coping.

There is a ‘LITTLE’ truth to this idea that we create our own reality. For example, if we’re looking for negative things all the time, sure enough, we will find them. Or, if we look for the positive, we will find it too. Therefore, we do have some control over that for which we look.

That said, the overall statement is hogwash!

What you think does not control what happens to you. Some people have very bad lives for absolutely no reason. They did not ‘think’ incorrectly nor is there anything wrong with their character. Similarly, some people have great lives for no reason. These people are not superior; they don’t ‘think’ in a better way, lets just say they are luckier.

Now I better back up with what I just said with some proof. Take a child who is starving to death in a third world country. That child did nothing wrong. That child cannot think their way out of their situation. That child will die, not through any fault of their own. They will die because life is cruel at times and unfair and they were born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Me on the other hand was not born in a third world country. I was born in Canada, a fairly rich country. That doesn’t make me better than the child in the third world country. But it sure gave me an advantage over the child in the third world country and I did nothing to deserve it. Guess I was just luckier?

The people that think they can create their own reality, are people with good realities. They seem to think they did something ‘right’ to manifest these realities. We all have to take responsibility for our own lives; we have to do what we can with what we have. You might be fortunate enough to be born  into a rich family, you did nothing to make that happen.

Where am I going with all of this you may ask? Well, I was born with a mental illness. I have spent years of my life in a life-threating depression. There is no amount of thinking that could free me from this prison. And there is no amount of thinking that can get people out of all the horrible, unfair illnesses and life circumstances that strike people. So please stop blaming people for their own realities. I am not to blame for my own reality. I did not ask for this illness, no more then Lauren asked to be born with cerebral palsy. Your life could be going along wonderfully and then something terrible happens and there’s nothing you can do to stop it, it’s out of our control.

So while we don’t create our own reality, we do deal with reality in the best way we can. Life is not always easy, or smooth going, it’s certainly not always in our control. No matter what we are facing today, we can’t give up but we have to keep going and one day we will reach the finish line, supposedly we have to crawl, we will make it!

 

 

Let’s Blame God For That

When we are angry, hurt and in pain; whether emotional, physical or mental, the first thing we want to do is to blame somebody or something. By blaming someone else gives us the feeling of alleviating some of the burden and pain that we are carrying and feeling. And one of the first and most easy person to blame is God. I think we have all been there at one point in our lives, when we lash out at God and blame Him for everything that as gone wrong. But is He really the blame? Can He be held accountable for every little thing that goes wrong in our lives? I believe God is not always to blame and when we do we alienate the only person that can really help us through our most difficult times and hurts. I admit and I am guilty of blaming God and questioning God, why? But when I sit down and analyze my situation, I realize that God is not to blame. But I realize that He is the one who can help me through any circumstance in life and give me a peace and presence that can only come from an eternal God. He’s not my enemy, but my best friend. Let’s try looking at it in a different light and let’s maybe stop the blame game.

I think we can begin our search and get a better understanding of name-blaming by going back to the beginning of time. Back to when God created the earth and everything in it, including man and woman. It was His intention for humanity to enjoy the beauty, abundance and fruitfulness of creation. In Genesis 3 we read about the fall of man and sin enters the world (it’s here we can do the blaming) because of man’s disobedience to God. It’s because of this fall that we are now separated from God and God’s plan for mankind would be forever changed. Therefore Adam and Eve changed our destiny and relationship with God. And the only way of reconciliation to God would be through the shed blood of HIS son, Jesus Christ. Acts 4:12 “Neither is there salvation in any other; for there is none other name under Heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved”. So maybe the next time we want to blame God for something, may we remember that it is God who provided for us a way of escape.

Let’s start directing the blame at the real source of evil in our world today, that being Satan himself. I want to quote directly from the Bible because I feel it would be the most powerful and effective attack on Satan himself. John 8;44 ‘…He (the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him….for he is a liar and the father of lies’. 1 Peter 5:8-9 ‘Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’. 2 Corinthians 11:14 ‘And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light’. Ephesians 6:12 ‘For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms’. Genesis 3:22 states that in this world there is good and evil, so lets become more aware of the presence of evil and shift some blame to where it belongs.

Many times I believe when we want to blame God, it’s because throughout our lives we were taught to believe that if we came to God all our sickness, troubles, etc will go away. Many (not all) Churches preach what I would call, prosperity preaching. Or others, the ‘name and claim it syndrome.’ Neither of which I believe. I do believe this kind of preaching is dangerous and misleading. And when God fails to prosper us financially or heal us from our illnesses, or doesn’t meet up to what we were taught He was supposed to be, we become bitter and blame God. But God is not a magician, waving a magic wand. I believe God can heal, but not all of us will be healed, nor will we all be millionaires. God’s love for us is not measured by what He can do for us but by what He has already done, by sending His only Son to die for our sins and that’s what truly matters (John 3:16).

So let’s stop blaming God for everything that goes wrong in our lives, it’s then we begin to know God for who He is. He is someone who loves and cares for each one of us and we can give Him all our hurts, cares and sickness. 1 Peter 5:7 says, ‘casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you’.

Many times in life we are faced with much trauma. The death of a loved one is so devastating and hard to understand. But we have to realize that just as birth is a part of life, so is death. 1 Corinthians 15:22 ‘For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive’. It’s one thing in life that we are certain of; that we will die, it’s a part of life. The big question is, Are You Ready? Age has no barrier, sometimes loved ones leave us much too early and we question why and are left with a broken heart and emptiness that just won’t go away. Let’s not blame God for a death but let’s remember He is the one who took away the sting of death. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 ‘O death where is thy sting?……. thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ’. God is the one who gave us hope, death is not the end, we have hope through Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 ‘…and the dead in Christ shall rise first….and so shall WE ever be with the Lord. I’m reminded of my Dad right now because when he preached or talked about the promises of God he would get so excited, with tears streaming down his face, he would praise and worship God for who He was. My Dad lived a hard life with many hardships, struggles and rough times; but that never dampened his love for God. And that is what I’m feeling this  morning; an overwhelming presence of God. If it were not for God, the grave would be the end. But we have the hope of the Resurrection. So let’s hold on to the hope that Jesus gives and let go of the blame and hurt.

I am not speaking to you today as someone with all the answers to our questions. But I am pointing you to ‘The Answer’, and His name is Jesus Christ! I am speaking to you from my heart and my own personal experiences in life that have not all been so pleasant. There as been lots of times when I wanted someone to blame and lots of times that was God and for that I am sorry. But I have learned that in life, bad things happen and that we have no control over. What we do have control over is how we respond to them. Through my own mental illness, Lauren’s cerebral palsy and many hardships and struggles; I have to believe that God is in control and He will give us strength for every day. He’s our only hope. I am trying everyday to live the best life I can, in spite of my own illness and life’s struggles. I don’t blame God anymore, I just hold on to His hand a little tighter because there are still days when I feel I’m loosing my grip. But God is faithful, God is GOOD!

I’m ANGRY!

Anger isn’t an emotion that I like to feel. But I’m human and today I’m angry. I’m not angry at God, He is the one and only person that I know I can pour my heart out to and He understands. So no, I’m not angry at God; He’s my Rock, my burden bearer, my healer, my friend.

So often we have the tendency to blame God for anything that goes wrong or is wrong in the world. I’m guilty of doing that myself but this morning I realized that He is not to blame for what’s going wrong but is to be praised for what is going right and know that He is with us when things aren’t going so well. And sometimes He even allows these things to happen to make us stronger. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”….”For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Lots of times we feel guilty when we become angry because “Christians” shouldn’t feel that way. Well we do feel that way sometimes and that’s okay. Jesus became angry on several occasions;  In Matthew 21:12-13, He became angry at those who were exchanging money at the Temple. In Mark 3:5 “He looked around at them with anger”. Jesus was angry at times, yet did not sin, Hebrews 4:15. And likewise, believers in Christ are taught, “Be angry and do not sin” Ephesians 4:26. While anger is often viewed as a completely negative emotion, there are times a person can be angry for appropriate reasons. In Jesus case, His anger was the result of ungodly attitudes and actions by those around Him.

So today I feel my anger is totally justified for good. I guess you could say I’m angry at “the System”, medical that is. You see, Lauren was scheduled for hip surgery on March 12th; much to our dismay it was cancelled, no explanation, no rescheduled appointment, nothing. Now here is a four years old little girl going around with “two” dislocated hips, in pain; totally inhumane in my opinion. After several calm and polite phone calls to inquire about a rescheduled surgery date, we were given nothing. So on April 30th (now a month and an half as gone by) I decided I’ve had enough and we have to get a date to get this surgery done.

I introduced myself to the secretary on the phone, and stated my case and said if I hadn’t heard back from her doctor by the evening, I would take my story to the NTV News. Now up to this point she could not tell me when or if Lauren was going to get this surgery done. Yet here was Lauren still going around with two dislocated hips, had to take her out of swimming because it hurt too much, couldn’t do physio therapy anymore, couldn’t sit crisscross and in pain.

Maybe ten minutes later my phone rang, her doctor was on the other end with an appointment for May 16th. Now if I didn’t get angry, would we have gotten that appointment? I think not! Ten minutes before and the appointment secretary didn’t have one. i’m sure they won’t be rolling out the red carpet for me at the Janeway, anytime soon. But I’m not trying to win any popularity contest with them, I’m trying to get the best healthcare for our child who deserves nothing less but the best. And right now I feel she’s not getting that and I will not give up without a fight. Although this may exhaust me of every ounce of strength that I have, I will not give up! You Go Lauren!

So Lauren, when the Janeway may have given up; Mommy and Daddy haven’t and will never. And remember the Great Physician has the last word! Matthew 19:14 “But Jesus said, suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of Heaven.”