Living with a mental illness or should I say, “surviving with a mental illness”. Most days lately it’s been about surviving, getting through one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time and others just one minute at a time.
The last few months have been a struggle, it’s been a game of trial and error with my medication. Finding that medication where the benefits out way the side effects. And I finally think we’ve found one that just may be working. Treating my mental illness over the years have been challenging to say the least. Sometimes it’s so easy to lose hope but believing that things will get better is what keeps me moving forward. It’s tough, it’s hard work but it’s what I have to do if I want to beat this hell on earth disease.
My mental illness over the past few months has dictated my every move or lack of movement. My world has been confined to our house, to move outside that, is forced. Being around large, confined groups of people is nothing but anxiety provoking and panic driven. So for now, I have to choose where I go with that in mind. The world right now is simply overwhelming. So I have to live in a world that I create, a world that’s all about survival. And only I know what my limits are, only I know what I can and cannot do. Right now that means, right down to, where I can drive, to what public places I can visit.
When my mental health is in a decline, and right now it’s in a decline, I have to fight to do anything. Even getting out of bed is a big deal, getting a shower is a challenge. The little things that should not even be given a second thought, is difficult. But I’ve learned to take baby steps; one step at a time. Eventually, please God, I will reach a somewhat functioning level once again. But until then I will do what I have to do or not do, in order to survive.
I want to encourage those who are suffering and struggling today to keep moving forward, one step at a time! Never lose hope, tomorrow will be better. Breathe!
